On February 28th I had a $1,500 bankroll, was playing $6 and $12 SNG's on PokerStars; absolutely broke, and waiting for a call to go back to my old job as a carpenter, because poker had been not so good for the last 15 months, and my financial situation was absolutely desperate.
Tonight, I can't sleep after chopping the FTP 750K for my first 6 figures score: $105,528. I am very happy, but the feeling that stands up the most is relief. The journey was so long, and the difficulties were so many, that all my thoughts are focused on how to pay the most bills, and how not to go back to the previous situation ever again.
Playing poker is my biggest passion, I think about the game at all times; I try to find new solutions to old problems while I walk, I think about difficult hands when I go to bed, and I have developed what I believe is a deep understanding of the game...but playing high stakes tournaments while you can't pay your mortgage, your credit cards are maxed out, your wife goes to work every day while you stay at home not knowing if it's even worth the time...I'm not going through that stress again, it's just not an option.
Today is time to celebrate, maybe go out for a nice dinner, and start looking for plane tickets to visit my family in Spain. But tomorrow I'll make a plan, and I will follow it, because playing tournaments with a buy in larger than what you have in your bank account can not be good for your sanity.
Later this week I will update this blog, and talk about the tournament, but right now I needed to talk about how I feel.
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